Sunday, October 12, 2008

rough day.....

yesterday...was a tough one...and it really hit me out of no where...I came home..and both girl were gone...it was an empty house...and sometimes when I come home on the weekends....it hits me harder that eds gone...and usually we would cook up something delicious...and get a bunch of junk food...and just stay in for the weekend enjoying our time off together...well now I don't have him...and I don't have the food...which I now realize was comforting me....while I was lonely..and sad...so I am having to fight those emotions raw!! and it hurts....I was so angry yesterday...I just wanted to eat.......I wanted to order some chinese or pizza.....but I got ahold of my group counselor...told her how I was feeling and got through it.....but it was tough....and she said "she wished she could tell me that I won't have to fight it eventualy...but honestly I will probably always have to fight" but I didn't give in....but oh how I wanted to....the scale is not moving this week either which discourages me too...but I have learned that if it doesn't move one week...it will move twice as much the next...but we shall see...tomorrow is weigh in.....then Tuesday...I go to my first visit with the dentist..to talk about braces...see if it's an option?? but anyway here is the page I did friday night...at the crop...so simple....but I love the pics...and I used that "autumn" chipboard word..I've had for a year or so...and that always feels good!! I still haven't unpacked my supplies since the crop on friday...isn't that awful...no I mean they're still in the car....I should just leave them in there...and head up to scrappy chic today and crop...it's free on sundays....!!!

5 comments:

Laura Solomon said...

in 12 step programs, they call what you went through WHITE KNUCKLE ABSTENENCE= sometimes when you feel all those feelings that make you want to go back to the food for comfort, you just have to hold on tight (so your knuckles turn white...) and wait until it passes.
Much love,
Laura

Michelle said...

Staci sorry to hear about the rough day!i wish i had the words to comfort you and make the pain go away!its always hard to lose someone so close that we love so much!sending you big ((hugs))!
Dieting or eating healthy whatever you want to call it is hard keep up your hard work!i know easier said than done!i am struggling losing weight too i can be your cyber buddy if ya like :)

and thanks so much for the AWESOME kit you deisgned for Tally it ROCKS loved working with it :)thanks for the sweet comments on my blog you made me smile thank you!

Carmen O. said...

So sorry to read you had a tough day yesterday, but so glad that you made it through it. Keep up the good work!

Leah C said...

Oh darlin, I'm so sorry for your rough day. Proud of you for calling your group counselor for support. I admire your motivation, strength, commitment.. you are such an inspiration!! Because of YOU, I am now going to start my weight watchers again... tonight! No eating after 8. get my water in. Anyways, you are dear & sweet, and I hate to see you hurt. {{big hugs}}

Renee' Morris-Dezember said...

I think your "simple" LO is beautiful :) tfs