Wednesday, April 16, 2008

morning...

had our grief counseling last night.....we mixed with the kids, and we all shared how we cope or what we do when we miss our loved ones...and everybody shared..I passed the first go around,and then...I thought I was ready for the next.....and as soon as I started to speak...the emotions hit...(I can't help it!!) and I started to say that I talk to him...and I lost it!! I felt bad cause there were kids....and I know sommer was embarrassed.....ahhhgggg...I tried to be strong...I tried!! sometimes I get pissed at myself for not keeping it together....when I need to..I need to go headstone shopping....it's not a fun adventure....I think I have an idea of the one I want..but I think the finality of it...is almost paralizing.........but I don't like him not having one out there either....and with the weather getting nice...I am sure it will be a good time to do this..... I finished a layout for the Wii challenge over at Tally Scrapper......I have to show you a few pictures of what I got in the mail !! and I had no idea....it's a memorial mini album(the first picture at the top is the cover)....that Benita http://imascrapbooknut.blogspot.com/ made for me, it's absolutely beautiful...and I know that once I fill it with pics of Ed that we will cherish this forever...it's full of beautiful quotes and poems...

when I first opened it...yay..she made me cry...just because what I've learned over the past months is the kindness of people....(scrapbookers ecspecially) I know that Benita has had some major losses in her life....so I know that she gets it...but she didn't have to do this...but it meant alot to me.....thanks

it's also been one of those card weeks......lots of love in my mail box!! the middle card is one of those music cards...and it plays rascal flatts!! (thanks JJ)....and the one on the right is a gorgeous card from Marie...and the other one is from Sal....they always brighten my day....knowing people are still thinking of you even though it's almost been 6 months!!







10 comments:

Cindy Tobey said...

Beautiful layout! I love the orange paper...two of my favorites there, orange AND polka dots. Love.

I'm thinking of you and sending lots of ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

You have to be able to grieve..and showing your feeling in never a bad thing...this I know, since I grew up in house were very little emotions were shown...you hang in there and if you need someone to go with you (shopping for the headstone) I can make time for you!
Love the wii page, and the grief album is beautiful! l...Sandi

Anonymous said...

Hey girl...what a great idea Benita had to make that album, it's beautiful! Your Wii page is awesome!


Jeniece

Evelyn said...

Love your pages, as usual. Awesome.

Please don't be embarrassed by the grief. It comes at the most unexpected times. My sister has been gone 16 months now, and Sunday, in the car with my cousin and her daughter, a song came on and I lost it! It was a song special to Denise, and I just started bawling. It totally took me by surprise, because I thought I had my emotions under control. Sometimes it just need to get out.
((Hugs to you and the girls))

Babydoll said...

Sorry you're going through a rough time Staci. Those cards are gorgeous and how nice of Benita to send you that album!

Michelle said...

(((hugs)))

love your layouts and the album is beautiful!

Stacey said...

((hugs)) You are doing great girl! I LOVE that album...what a sweet gift!
and your LO totally rocks!!

whetzel momma said...

Just wanted to remind you, that's OK not to keep it together... EVEN with kids around. They are feeling the same way that you are... it's good for them to see such grief released from a grown up.

Benita's gift is BEAUTIFUL!! I love it.

I'm thinking about you today!! Love ya!

Kawi said...

Ce que tu fais est super. I love it!

Benita said...

So glad that you like the album! Don't feel bad when you get down....it's all a part of the grieving process. It takes time & everyone grieves differently. {{{hugs}}}