Thursday, January 17, 2008

3:30AM !!!

Okay....I tried to give up my pop "cold turkey" I hadn't had any since sunday!!! Until I woke up at 3 in the morning with a migraine from hell!!! So picture me at the local BP gas station at 3:30 in the morning...in slippers...hair all a messs.....grabbing 3 2-liters and a can of mountain dew that I slammed in the parking lot!! and then proceded to throw up my dinner......yikes!! I know to much info.....but it was awful.....I felt like a junkie getting my fix!! So maybe the "cold turkey" way isn't for me.........so maybe I will just cut back....for now....I got some unexpected happy mail.....from Michelle...check out the cute stamps and awesome flowers......thanks Michelle....always makes my day to get happy mail!!!! and your card is so cute!!!

when I made my unhealthy..layout I messed up on the first picture I printed...made it too..dark..but I couldn't figure out anything to scrap...and then I seen this pic peeking out of the garbage...and thought I would just chop it up a little.....

and this is another page for my art journal....yes it's made out of a sugar free reese's bag...when I was cleaning up my room...I found one of Ed's empty packages...(he loved that he could get these in sugar free).....so I thought it would be a cute memory for the girls....

on another note....last week I did group grief couseling....and this week I did some one on one...counseling (yes i am taking full advantage of the counseling) , but after I spilled my guts, my worries, my loss.........she said that she thinks I am normal....I am grieving normal....my worries are normal...she said the fact that you can share stories of your husband, look at pictures and enjoy memories.....laugh...you're going to be okay!!! Which I have to say felt good to hear a professional say that I was normal....she doesn't even want to see me again...unless I need to.....she said you're going to be sad, you lost your soulmate.....but you still need to keep living.....so your going to cry.....you'r going to miss him........that's normal..she also mentioned that I must have an awesome support system!! I told her oh yeah....I have alot of friends....real life ones...online ones...and family...who have been there with me every step.....She said alot of how you heal, is about how your relationship was with the person you lost, your feelings on "Faith", and your support system........{{{thanks guys}}}
I showed her a picure of us....and the first thing she said was that he had the most caring thoughtful eyes......I told her you have no idea!!!
you will have to forgive me for all the babbling....remember I am drunk on diet coke!!! as we speak.......yahoooo!!!


13 comments:

Janine said...

Oh, I am there with you on the Diet Coke! I am so addicted, but have been trying to cut back. Usually I drink less in the winter time because I like to drink coffee in the morning, but since I am out of my favorite creamer (you know...the CHOCOLATE CARAMEL kind (obviously, there wouldn't be any other in my house!!)) I have just finished my first can of Diet Coke for breakfast! The only way I won't drink Diet Coke is fountain...it always tastes horrible; I get regular Coke or Pepsi at restaurants unless they serve the pop in cans!

Yes, you sound normal to me too and what a blessing to have such a great support system. Be well, Stephani...ha ha...Staci!

Amanda Ann said...

You are SO creative!!!!

Amanda Oates said...

((((HUGS)))) I am so proud of you, trying to give up cold turkey, the migraines can be hellacious. You can give it up on your own schedule, do whats best for you. You need to scrap about this, it will be an awesome page.

Love your latest pages. You truly are an inspiration to us all. Thank you.

Leah said...

You poor thing throwing up in the parking lot... total visual person here, so now I feel a bit queasy.. LOL

Kelley Popp said...

It's always good to have some tell you that you are "normal" and Staci you are doing a great job considering all that you lost. Grief sucks and it's hard but you are strong! I love your Reese's page that is super cool. Hugs to you!

sjtowers said...

Oh my gosh your Diet Coke story killed me!!! I can SO see myself doing that!!! I am "trying" to cut back too (as I sit here slamming a can of Diet Coke)...I gave up the 'cold turkey' idea...the headaches were killing me!!
love the LO's and your journal is just turning out awesome!!!
So proud of how awesome you are doing in therapy!!! You are sooo much more than "normal" though! You are INCREDIBLE!!!
-Stacey

Anonymous said...

Well...I don't know if you can REALLY be considered normal given the amount of time you spend with Jeniece...you must not have told her about that! ;)

Alison

Ingunn said...

Oh yeah - I quit Diet Coke cold turkey last week, and I had two and a half days of migraine hell...it was horrible! I kept drinking green tea to at least help with the caffeine. I haven't had any Diet Coke since last Sunday, and I can honestly say I don't miss it anymore(can you tell that I'm proud? Hehe)

I love the journal page with the Reese's bag..it's perfect. :)

nancy_scraps said...

OMG... Drunk on Diet Coke. Too funny. I understand.

So glad you have taken advantage of counseling. Yeah. You're normal. And you are special You grieve just like you... not like anyone else.
Thank You so much for sharing with us.

Charity S. said...

see...great minds think alike....using photos out of the trash can! Waste not want not, right! :)
Good thing the counseling has put you r mind at ease a bit. Sometimes things like that just need to be heard.

dori said...

ooohhh coke... LOL! hang in there! i gave coke up in oct and now i'm cool!

Rachel Whetzel said...

LOL about the Coke run... and I just want to say that I LOVE YOU!!!

mindakims said...

Go to your kitchen right now, Staci. Take the unopened DC bottles and open them...pour them down the drain. You can do it. Watch the movie Pay It Forward. Have your daughters hide your car keys until morning.

hehe! maybe throwing up in teh parking lot will cut your interest a bit! I always end up hating whatever the last thing I threw up was!